127.0.0.1:Mathilde

Have you ever been down? Wondering to yourself: Why do I continue to pursue my writing/acting/computer programming, etc?

... because you know what? Your work, no matter how hard you tried, could suck as much as these query letters. Bet.

http://queryletters.blogspot.com

 I'm not necessarily a bad person, but I wish I had a tenth of the self confidence these folks have.

http://literaryrejectionsondisplay.blogspot.com

I've been gone for a minute, but I'm back for the jump off -- Lil Kim

I have turned my life over to the one burning thing. If you've read my blog over the course of the last couple of years, you would know that something inside me woke up one day. Or maybe it was that I discovered that I was vaguely unhappy and I remembered that I was writing while I was happy and by association, that the writing is the source of that happiness. Or maybe happiness happens while you're not looking.

This entry is not about happiness in the least.

January 1, 2007, I announced to the world that I planned on writing again and doing those things that make writing a career and not some quiet hobby. I submitted an application to Breadloaf that winter, was accepted in May, attended in August, was asked why I hadn't thought of a MFA program...  Applied the Palm Beach Poetry Festival in October. Got in. Attended in January 2008. Applied for a low-residency spot at Bennington, got into Bennington. Applied at that same time to the summer coursework at Iowa Writer's Workshop. Got in. Applied to Sewanee. Got in. Had a couple of poems picked up for publication along the way.

Pursuing that ONE. BURNING. THING. works.

I'm still shell-shocked wondering to myself why all these supportive people guide me toward my heart's desire. Or why when I have nothing in my heart but my sheer, blinding terror of change, I move forward anyway.

What I'm saying is that what I learned the last year is NOT that I'm better or worse than I was in my twenties. I'm getting rejected too, and anyone writing will tell you that a literary career is bloodsport. What I am doing differently this time is looking at the work that was rejected and asking better questions of it: Did I send this to the wrong agent/publication/genre? I, to whom writing used to come as easily as breathing, am spending hours on the integrity of a line, on whether a comma belongs here or there. I am going without sleep sometimes because a story is demanding my attention.

In short: I am for the first time respecting the attention that this work demands. I have stopped dreaming and doing. While I've yet to make more than $100 at the enterprise, I'm knocking on a different, better set of doors.

I have all of you who have encouraged me to thank. And while we're going through our slush piles with the crappy 'this isn't a fit' rejection letters.... remember how lucky we are just to be in the game.

Suzanne Vega now has a blog on the New York Times

http://measureformeasure.blogs.nytimes.com/2008/03/31/profane-and-divine/

Personally, I'm waiting for her to answer the: do you come up with lyrics or melody first question.

http://www.nytimes.com/2008/03/02/books/bestseller/0302bestpaperadvice.html?_r=1&oref=slogin
 

Top ten paperbacks baby!

Who knew those six words would travel so far...

Wild Geese
by Mary Oliver

You do not have to be good.
You do not have to walk on your knees
for a hundred miles through the desert repenting.
You only have to let the soft animal of your body
love what it loves.
Tell me about despair, yours, and I will tell you mine.
Meanwhile the world goes on.
Meanwhile the sun and the clear pebbles of the rain
are moving across the landscapes,
over the prairies and the deep trees,
the mountains and the rivers.
Meanwhile the wild geese, high in the clean blue air,
are heading home again.
Whoever you are, no matter how lonely,
the world offers itself to your imagination,
calls to you like the wild geese, harsh and exciting —
over and over announcing your place
in the family of things.

Not Quite What I Was Planning: Six-Word Memoirs by Writers Famous and Obscure

Larry Smith

So... I'm in the book. Guess which I am... famous or obscure. Got my copy tonight and can I tell you how good it feels. Better than sex, I tell you.

A prose writer gets tired of writing prose, and wants to be a poet. So he begins every line with a capital letter, and keeps on writing prose.
  - Samuel McChord Crothers

and...

Samuel McChord Crothers

http://anerroroccurredwhileprocessingthisdirective.com/2007/09/28/the-most-expensive-drink-at-starbucks/

Hard as it is to say, I've had the best rejections of my life the last couple of months. I've gotten only one stock rejection out of hand, and about four that are specific, addressed to me by editors and reading approximately:

Dear Mathilde:

Thank you for allowing XXXXX  to consider your poems.  While we have
not selected your work for publication, it did make it deep into our
deliberations, and we hope that you will keep us in mind for future
submissions.  In this group, we especially liked XXXXXXX.

We apologize for the long delay in response and wish you the best in
placing your work elsewhere.  Thank you for your interest in, and support
of, XXXXXXX.

Let me explain my frustration: Firstly, these particular folks had my work for about 7 months. If it were a child, it would probably be in the NICU (much like Nunu's she had last week. Big props to the little C.)  trying to figure out what Mom's breasts are for. Secondly, just how many times am I supposed to be buoyant when I get this? Is the consensus that I'm liked, but not liked liked yet?

This week in the movies: Mathilde and 27 dresses.

Or something like that.